Beauty, Education, Fashion, Health & Wellness, Life, Television

Flash vs. Class: Feminism and Success

Today, my 84-year-old boss came into the office and said, “You stay conservative!  I just saw this woman… this 40-year-old woman…” and then he  proceeded to move his arms around his body in disbelief.

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I’m going to assume she looked like this to get my point across.

I understood immediately what he meant with the temperature reaching 100 today in New Jersey.

Concepts that are being severely neglected these days by women, both young and old: Class.  Being conservative.  Being a lady.  Demure.  Less is more.

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I mean, look at this role model for instance.

Girls these days are given role models who flash their breasts and demand to be respected.  This is liberating, right?  Wrong.

Being a woman, a strong woman, requires brains and some argue beauty.

Young girls should start off with getting an education.

Go to school, get a degree, and take jobs from the over-paid man.  Yes, I mean the man and the man.

If more women were in political office and making the changes in policies that shape our country, there would be no argument over what healthcare women should be provided with.  There would be no questioning and no redefining what rape is.

But how will this be possible if women are portrayed as “sluts” and “hoes” on every media station?  Shows like Teen Mom and Keeping Up With the Kardashians are celebrating women who sleep around, get sloppy, and act irresponsible for fame.

These women become role models.  The level of exposure they have on young girls is frightening.

Kim Kardashian should not be held up onto any peddle stool:  She was a drunk socialite who leaked her own sex tape for fame and fortune.  Television shows should not be rewarded for bad behavior.

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I mean, this is attractive, right?

Our rights as women are being constantly challenged and yet young girls are dressing like “hoes,” which is labeled as very trendy.

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These were the wild women and their knees are barely showing.

Sad, isn’t it?

And women are now flashing their breasts in order to gain “freedom.”  FEMEN, I’m talking about you.  Flashing your breasts will not help rape victims and it does not open any doors for the advancement of women.

With massive profits being raked in from Girls Gone Wild and half naked celebrity performances on cable television, your breasts will not be making any changes.  Unless you’ve been gifted with super powered breasts that make change happen.

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Television

In Review: The Real World: Portland, Episode 10

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This week, Jordan, Avery and Johnny go on a Zombie Survival Weekend.  Marlon and Jessica keep it Jesus and go to church because of their complicated carnal desires.  The rest of the gang hang around the house doing nothing.

This week, in case you missed it and want spoilers:

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Daisy rolls around in bed with Avery and sucks down slices of ham from Nia.

Keeps it the realest and takes what she wants: the ham.

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Avery spends a little too much time at the bar with a regular.  He buys her a shot and Johnny gets jealous.

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Johnny cries about Avery’s neglect and his jealous ways.  Literally cries.  Now that the season is coming to a close, he will be known as the Cry Baby Drunk.  I hope he’s not going to cry about it on the reunion.  Or cry at all.  Please, Jesus.

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Anastasia tests her make up strength by going around in the hot, Portland weather.  She also gets an e-mail from her boyfriend that says he needs some “space.”  And I agree.  Space from her makes her make up look less horrible.  Monet, anyone?

She then cries to her mom about it on the phone.

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Jessica goes Stage-5-Clinger style on Paul Bunyan and even has the balls to tell him she’d consider moving to Portland to spend more time with him after the show.  She also prints a ton of photos of them together and sticks them all over her bedroom.  Once she got the matching photo key-chains, Bunyan peaces out through a classy e-mail.

Well done, Bunyan.  Well done.

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Joi what?

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Jordan keeps a low profile during this episode.  Along the Zombie Survival trip, he gets Avery and Johnny to talk about their fight from the bar. 

Good on you, Jordan.

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Nia hangs around the house and feeds Daisy ham.  She tries to console Jessica about the Bunyan break-up, but Ana lays the real story down for her. 

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Marlon has himself a little sex and gets upset.  He blames the alcohol and his lack of faith for bringing the drunk obvious chick home and for his sleeping with her. 

I’m sorry, but Jesus has nothing to do with you bringing the townie with the fake eyelashes home.

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Food & Drink

In Review: Pillsbury Supreme Collection, Red Velvet; Betty Crocker Cream Cheese

When two become one… it’s a beautiful day or night or afternoon.  I don’t judge cake-eating people.

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Tastes so good, make a grown woman cry.

Cake Wise Words:

If you follow the regular directions, you’ll end up with a mushy paste of both filling and cake batter.  I kept adding water until they were a less chunky version of themselves.

Also, you’re going to need to save some of the Red Velvet Cake batter to cover the filling.  The instructions have you slap it on top.  I don’t know if Pillsbury expected the filling to sink to its immanent death beneath the boiling hot cake mix, but I had to bury the filling myself after I had used up most of the batter.

It was a challenge, but I don’t let anything hold me back.

I like cake, I bake cake and I eat cake.

Icing Wise Words:

If you’re going Bundt-style like the box suggests, only one tub of icing will do just nicely.  I happen to be a fan of the equal cake to icing ratio, but if you can’t handle the taste differences between the icing and filling: you might want to have less frostage.

It’s really simple math, people.

I chose Betty Crocker because I like their icing.

It’s really that simple, people.

Besides all that jazz, if you can wait, I highly suggest (after cooling and icing) putting the cake in the fridge.  The coolness of the fridge makes the filling and frosting into this smooth and delectable consistencies.  AMAZING.

My Final Product:

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End Scene.

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Food & Drink

Photo How To: KFC Bowl

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The majority of your ingredients!  *Corn not pictured

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Boil water for the potatoes!

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Pan-fry your bacon!
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Chop your potatoes!!!  Keep the skin on!
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Boil your potatoes!
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Smash your chicken!  (With whatever you have handy…)
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Done.
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After the pounding, chop your chicken into bite-sized pieces.  Then put chicken pieces in a bowl with hot sauce and milk!

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Smash your croutons and add this stuff into the breading!
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Make an assembly line!

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Flour the chicken!

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Bread the chicken!

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Fry the chicken!

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Keep an eye on the boiling potatoes!

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Make garlic butter (melted butter with garlic powder)!

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Look at it!

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Make your gravy!

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Put all of this and the garlic butter together in the strained potatoes!

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Chop that bacon!

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Add the bacon into the potatoes!

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Cook your corn!

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Make your side of biscuits!

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It’ll look like this!

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The Final Comparison!

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Food & Drink

In Review: Buffalo Wild Wing’s Wild Bloody Mary

IMG_1048That’s one spicy meatball.

I am one of Buffalo Wild Wing‘s biggest fan, as you may know from my previous entry.  I decided to test their take on one of my drink favories: The Bloody Mary.  And they slapped “Wild” on it, so obviously I had to try it.

The thing about the Bloody Mary is they always come with snacks.  The possibilities are everything I love: Bacon, Pickles, Olives, Celery, Celery “Salt all around the rim rim rim rim, Trey.

Hot damn if your Bloody Mary has all of them, however this recipe had three olives (I immediately ate one so it is not pictured.)

Upon my first sip, all I could do was say, “Oh, fuck.”  It was that good.

The pepper vodka BWW uses was phenomenal.  The key to a great Bloody Mary is the right amount of spice.  Rarely can you achieve it with a random hot sauce or seasonings.  The secret lies in using a pepper vodka and BWW’s choice is correct.

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Absolut has a pepper vodka that will do the trick for when you’re at home!

Each sip was delicious and filled with that prime amount of spicy tomato.  It was seriously like drinking a peppery tomato soup but with alcohol.

And I’m a big fan of soup, tomatoes, all things spicy, and of course alcohol.

So, treat yourself with a trip to BWW and along with that delectable chicken: Get a little wild and order a Wild Bloody Mary.

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Fashion

Unforgivable Fashion Sin: The Double Denim

It was not cute when Britney and Justin did it at the American Music Awards.

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It certainly won’t be cute when other celebrities (or YOU) do it.

070512parisHere’s Kate Hudson schlepping herself around town in this atrocious ensemble.

kanye_west_double_denim1Imma let you finish, Kanye, but please change your jacket or pants first.

david-beckham-wrangler-4David Beckham seems to be crippled from his fashion faux pas.

Just change your pants.  I mean, come on.  Are you wearing a jacket over your denim jacket?  Just stop.  Stop it.

5b0c5e18f45993e9_coverririr.xxxlargeRhianna obviously can’t resist the double denim tragic trend, but really?

Are you wearing two pairs of jeans or did you actually buy pants that had another pant top sewn in?

Ed_Westwickenaadlive.blogspot.comEd Westwick, why?  Just WHY.

Now that we’ve established a model of what not to do with your assorted denim articles, we can move onto what you can do!

celebrity-denim-jackets-2011If you want to use that denim jacket that you bought on sale the other day or you found your mother’s now-vintage jacket from the 90’s, this is denim done right.

Besides a good ‘ol pair of jeans, that is.

Now, repeat after me, “I will never double denim.”

Say it over and over.

This trend has no business happening again.

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Beauty

In Review: Tresemme, The Holiest of Hairsprays

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I prefer level 4, but I’ll take level 5 if it’s available.

When looking for a hairspray, I grade on two things: strength and scent.

Strength:

This hairspray keeps my hair in top form but does not cement my hair to my skull.  I’ve dabbled in the fine art of hair and with about nine years of experience doing my own beautiful locks, I know I know what I’m talking about.  You don’t need a Beauty School Degree to know that this stuff is great.  Keep it simple, stupid, and get your spray on.

The Scent:

They’re not joking when they say the brand originated in salons.  This hairspray will have your hair smelling salon fresh immediately and up until you wash it out unless you’re attacked by some unavoidable scent destroying factor.

 

I have sampled other hairsprays over the years which  leads to my unbiased opinion.

Some advertise they’re long lasting, but I found my hair limp on the corner of my street looking “like a drowned, harassed rat.”

Some hairsprays come off as too fruity or smell like WD-40.

Some make you take the trip to Ulta under their false promises and lies of deceit.

With Tresemme, I guarantee you’ll be saying their tagline when you’re out and about this summer.

Ooh, la la. 

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