Television

In Review: The Real World: Portland, Episode 10

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This week, Jordan, Avery and Johnny go on a Zombie Survival Weekend.  Marlon and Jessica keep it Jesus and go to church because of their complicated carnal desires.  The rest of the gang hang around the house doing nothing.

This week, in case you missed it and want spoilers:

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Daisy rolls around in bed with Avery and sucks down slices of ham from Nia.

Keeps it the realest and takes what she wants: the ham.

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Avery spends a little too much time at the bar with a regular.  He buys her a shot and Johnny gets jealous.

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Johnny cries about Avery’s neglect and his jealous ways.  Literally cries.  Now that the season is coming to a close, he will be known as the Cry Baby Drunk.  I hope he’s not going to cry about it on the reunion.  Or cry at all.  Please, Jesus.

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Anastasia tests her make up strength by going around in the hot, Portland weather.  She also gets an e-mail from her boyfriend that says he needs some “space.”  And I agree.  Space from her makes her make up look less horrible.  Monet, anyone?

She then cries to her mom about it on the phone.

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Jessica goes Stage-5-Clinger style on Paul Bunyan and even has the balls to tell him she’d consider moving to Portland to spend more time with him after the show.  She also prints a ton of photos of them together and sticks them all over her bedroom.  Once she got the matching photo key-chains, Bunyan peaces out through a classy e-mail.

Well done, Bunyan.  Well done.

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Joi what?

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Jordan keeps a low profile during this episode.  Along the Zombie Survival trip, he gets Avery and Johnny to talk about their fight from the bar. 

Good on you, Jordan.

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Nia hangs around the house and feeds Daisy ham.  She tries to console Jessica about the Bunyan break-up, but Ana lays the real story down for her. 

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Marlon has himself a little sex and gets upset.  He blames the alcohol and his lack of faith for bringing the drunk obvious chick home and for his sleeping with her. 

I’m sorry, but Jesus has nothing to do with you bringing the townie with the fake eyelashes home.

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