Ridiculous Celebrity Quotes

We know some celebrities are trying to pass off their life styles as something to buy into *cough cough* Gwyneth Paltrow *cough cough* Blake Lively…  but here are some celebrities who can simply inspire us mortals with their wise words of wisdom.  Wonderful.


When it comes to education, President Obama should continue his Jaden Smith talks… obviously.  A believer in extraterrestrials and son of legendary actor Will Smith, this boy wonder says drop the books and turn your ear to high-profile interviews.  You know, because your brain can simply absorb their smarts and make you smart…  duh.


Singer Taylor Swift is known for her break-ups and make-ups and her stalker tactics when it comes to her pursuits of the heart.  But all is fair in love and war, right?  When your love begins with researching what your beau can do for your career and ends with a hit song for your next album…  it all becomes quite predictable, right?  Not so different, just insane.

Disney’s wicked actress turned songstress Selena Gomez has one high profile romance already under her belt: the Biebs.  What is shocking to me is that Gomez doesn’t want a guy who is worried about being “cool.”  Contradiction in a pair of converse?  I think so.


Actress turned lifestyle coach Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t enjoy people judging her high-cost, high-profile lifestyle.  With a less-than-classy Vanity Fair portrayal stirring up controversy in her heavenly world, Paltrow’s stock is in threat.  Her peachy-keen, squeaky-clean image is about to go dumpster diving but that won’t put her perfectly chiseled face in a frown.  Back down, peasants.  She’ll keep on keeping on with her detox diets and healthy living.  You can just go eat some high-sugar, highly-saturated-fat fat-cake.  Fatty.


I have many bones to pick with Justin Beiber, but we can just talk about his “arrogance” for today.  One of the most conceited boys in the entertainment industry (besides, obviously, Kanye West), the Beibs believes he’s like really, really ridiculously good-looking.  With his girlish face and pre-pubescent physique, this Canadian singer makes teen girls swoon just with the sight of him.  Gag me with a spoon.


Kylie Jenner hails from the Kardashian Clan but don’t let their attention-seeking antics fool you.  They’re good people… Role Models, even.  I mean, Kim Kardashian’s initial claim to fame was hanging with famous friends until her sex tape with rapper Ray J conveniently “leaked.”  Rather than have a bad thing keep a good girl down, she cashed in on reality television and roped in her whole family to ride her sexploited behind all the way to the bank.  Their “quality” television show and spin-offs every off-season portray them as simple, Jimmy-Choo-wearing folk who fly across the country on whims of party-hopping and clothing shopping.

That’s perfectly normal and something to look up to, right?


Now, Miley shredded her Disney image and dived head first into her musical genius.  With an album titled Bangerz and songs like “#Getitright,” “FU” and “Love Money Party,” it’s hard to believe that this lyrical goddess can even top herself for her next album.  Music is obviously her life and she would die without it.  I think she’s being a bit over-dramatic but hey, she’s all about those theatrical performances… right?


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