The 8 Stages Of Netflix Addiction

For those of you who are contemplating a subscription: Let this be a warning to you.

For those of you who already have a subscription: You know exactly where this is going.

1.) Exploration

You want a new show to get you through your days.  Maybe you’re tired of being left out of the Mad Men discussion or maybe you just want to know what all the fuss is about.  You search around just to see what you can get yourself into.

2.) Discovery

You find out that Netflix has all but the current season online.  What’s the harm in welcoming these characters in your life?  Surely Jim and Pam’s love affair in The Office is something you should have been a part of.

3.) Initiation

You meet everyone on the show.  They guide you into the show’s plot and how their sub-plot fits in.  Certainly Murder House will get you hooked after episode one.  You have to know what happens next!

4.) Binge Watching

This is where the harmless “I have to know what happens next” goes onto “I need to know how it ends.”  It’s a big jump, but it’s an easy one to make.  Orange Is The New Black’s Piper Chapman’s lady jail woes will keep you wanting to know if someone’s “gonna stay and get their a** beat or stay and get their a** beat.

YOU.NEED.TO.KNOW.HOW.IT.ENDS.

5.) Addiction

You’re a full-blown addict now.  If you chose a show with seven seasons, you might want to cancel those weekend plans that were in the air in the first place.  Your friends will understand.  You need to know if Law & Order: SVU’s Stabler and Benson are going to finally accept that they’re meant to be together.  You need to know.

6.) Acceptance

Weekend plans?  Netflix.  That is your “weekend plans.”  Friends?  Do they want to binge-watch Law & Order: SVU with you?  Fine, you have friends now.

7.) Completion

The show’s over.  It was cancelled and there are no more episodes for you to watch.  Not even a season online in some catacomb of the internet.  Your life is over.

8.) Repetition

If the show is really good, you might just restart your addiction from season one.  Call it a relapse or whatever you want.  You took that chance after you renewed that subscription.

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